Marriage: – Scariest Word these days.
“You know it’s never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It’s always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride.”
― Jodi Picoult, Mercy
Story of Shweta Malik : (name changed )
She was in love with a tall , smart, handsome young man and wanted to marry him but like a worst nightmare he BROKE UP with her when she asked him for marriage.
That evening, she came home after facing that humiliation and rejection. So , she was annoyed and shattered ,so when her father asked her to select a suitable guy from the pictures lying on the dinning table , she didn’t think twice and just picked the first picture and said I’ll marry him. From this behavior you can easily judge that how immature she was or how brutally she was broken… because everyone see the world with their own perspective. But she loved unconventionally , though she behaved unexpectedly.
She was in her early twenties and that’s the age of hanging out with friends, exploring world, and trying new things , experimenting about desires and wishes. So, when it happened to her, she was not able to cop up with state of rush, She denied to accept the fact and found herself helpless in expressing feelings and thoughts that everything is finished.
Felt like life is slowly sliding down from her hands like sand and she is not having hold on her life anymore. She was ambitious, opinionated, rebellious and independent girl with eyes full of dreams. So she never thought of marrying at this early age. But problem was that she realized her mistake just 15 days before marriage and started regretting her decision.
Now it’s already too late, her sister exhorted her when she shared the story with her sister. Dad won’t be able to forbear this shock …So , I beg you not to create a scene please.
For the sake of her dad’d reputation in society, she got married to the man , whom she never met before, she was scared because she doesn’t even know him ,his character and consequences of marrying him.
As her father was aware about her rebellious attitude, at the time farewell , dad just hugged her and said ” leave your ego and attitude at this doorstep only. Don’t carry it further in your life. He said, “You don’t need it there , no one will care .” She just cried her regret out in form of tears and left her home with the Groom.
She was loud, he was calm. She was over ambitious and make quick decisions , he was calculative in taking every decision. She was adventurous and rough, he was simple and sophisticated. So basically they both were like north pole and south pole of earth. In few days she registered her blunder and started regretting but no other option she was left with except compromising.
She tried to turn the man she was married into the one she wanted to marry. Started expecting a lot of things from him but failed many times .
She used to buy gifts on every occasion, tried to impress him with surprises and parties in little moments of happiness because she expected all this from him but he was opposite of her , he was not good in expressing his feelings. whom she was trying to change was the man who was raised differently than her.
But to clap, we need both hands,(one hand from each partner) she was unable to clap with only hand of her’s to make this marriage a fairy tale . As I explained the importance of expression my previous blog, it was important for her to express love.
He never complimented her either she is looking good or not, He didn’t acknowledged her new dresses or hair style or her efforts of grabbing his attention. But as I can relate, girls love men, who compliments them, pamper and care about them. She too wanted to be controlled by only one person though she was bold and independent.
She always greeted him with smile , showed him love and care. Everyone in her husband’s friend circle used to compliment that he is blessed with a bold, beautiful and caring wife. But that man just kept on smiling and blushing on those compliments. he loves her too but was not good in expressing.
He never stopped her from doing or trying new things, hanging out with friends, he never questioned her moves. he always supported her silently by not overburdening her with so called wife’s responsibilities.
Literally, there was no understanding, affection and love from his side as per shweta’s perspective. Slowly with time , she too stopped caring, stopped giving him attention, gifts and surprises. No more she was expressing her love and feelings to him. Because she was hurt and that pain was killing her everyday slowly. But this move was also left unnoticed she thought. But he used to notice everything about her.
She didn’t give up though. As her father’s words (farewell) kept on resounding in her ears. To keep herself busy and to save herself from anxiety, she started to give dance classes to kids and women and earning money to fulfill her needs.. When she got name and fame between locals she started dreaming about achieving new heights in this field. She improved her skills more and advertised about her dance classes alone. She met and communicated with lots of people who used to discuss their life’s problems with her, then she came to know that people who looks happy on social media or offices are not happy actually. she met some women who were victim of their husband’s over possessive nature, some were living in hell because of their partner’s controlling attitude. Then she started feeling that her husband is unique in his own way, his expression of love is not mere in words but in his actions.
Now she was very busy in her own business and don’t get much time to think about her husband’s behavior. Just his ignorance( just in her imagination) turned her into an entrepreneur, everyone praises her work wherever she goes. She is more confident, bold and successful than ever. Now her husband started feeling that she was avoiding him intentionally, he wants his attention and time now.
One Day She was sitting on the couch in her living room and working on her laptop, her husband came and sat besides her , he grabbed her right hand from keyboard and moved her face in front him and while looking straight into her eyes, he asked : WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME?
She smiled , signed out from her account and turned off her laptop. She placed the laptop on table in the living room and sat on the couch facing her husband. She kissed him softly and said , Yes, I’ll love you tell eternity. You are the one who never questioned my potential, you are the reason i m tasting success these days, you are the only person who never doubted on me and restricted me from going anywhere, talking to random people. You never behaved as my lord and made me feel your slave. You set me free like an individual in search of my own identity.
But yes, u were wrong too at some points, i missed you in the days of struggle of my journey when i needed you emotionally the most. You should have express sometimes that how much you love me, it’s not a crime and both laughed. But instead of saying I LOVE YOU , when u said I BELIEVE YOU, you made me feel more special.
Dear readers, Love is not in saying I LOVE YOU million times, it exists in your every move, every single action, your behavior towards your partner. You belief in your partner can make him or her more productive and help them in achieving dreams and success . People say I love you innumerable times but when it comes to play the actual role of loved ones, they move on or ignore the other person. Saying I love you or getting married is easy but actual test of relationships takes place in hard times . Your partner’s face and eyes can easily reflect your relationship’s truth. When you are in love or being loved by someone, you spread an unique aura and vibes around you. Everything grows in presence of love.
Love blooms in presence of understanding, trust, belief and actions not mere in words.
Thanks for reading patiently,
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An ambitious woman with vision. i wanna see this earth full of happiness and love all around which is about to vanished from this world. trying to restore happiness by spreading my thoughts and views with people and by talking to more and more people about this.